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When you love someone, you do not love them all
the time. in exactly the same way, from moment to moment.
It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to.
And yet, this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so
little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love , of
relationships. We leap at the flow of time and resist in
terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We
insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only
continuity possible in life, as in love, is in growth, in fluidity
in freedom. The only real security is not owning or
possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even.
Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it
was , nor forward to what it might be, but living in the present
and accepting it as it is now. For relationships, too must
be like islands. One must accept them for what they
are here and now, within their limits islands surrounded and
interrupted by the sea, continuously visited and abandoned by the
tides. Once must accept the serenity of the winged life, ebb
and flow, of intermittency
The web of marriage is made by propinquity, in
the day to day living side by side, looking outward and working
outward in the same direction. It is woven in space and in
time of the substance of life itself.
When the wedding march sounds the resolute
approach, the clock no longer ticks, it tolls the hour.... The
figures in the aisle are no longer individuals. They
symbolize the human race.
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