A History of Love

Love.  What a small word we use for an idea so immense and powerful it has altered the flow of history, calmed monsters, kindled works of art, cheered the forlorn, turned tough guys to mush, consoled the enslaved, driven strong women mad, glorified the humble, fueled national scandals, bankrupted robber barons, and made mincemeat of kings.  How can love's spaciousness be conveyed in the narrow confines of one syllable?...Love is an ancient delirium, a desire older than civilization, with taproots stretching deep into dark and mysterious days.....

The heart is a living museum.  In each of its galleries, no matter how narrow or dimly lit, preserved forever like wondrous diatoms, are our moments of loving and being liked.

A Marriage
By Michael Blumenthal

You are holding up a ceiling with both arms.  It is very heavy,
but you must hold it up, or else it will fall down on you.  Your arms
are tired, terribly tired, and, as the day goes on, it feels as if either your arms or the ceiling will soon collapse.
 
But then, unexpectedly, something wonderful happens: Someone, a man or a woman, walks into the room and holds their arms up to the ceiling beside you.

So you finally get to take down your arms. You feel the relief of respite, the blood flowing back to your fingers and arms. And when your partner's arms tire, you hold up your own to relieve him again.

And it can go on like this for many years without the house falling.

Art of Marriage

The little things are the big things.   It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day. 

It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years. 

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.  It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. 

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel.  It is not looking for perfection in each other. 

It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.  It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. 

It is finding room for the things of the spirit.  It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.   It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.  It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

QUOTE: Excerpt from "The Velveteen Rabbit
BY Margery Williams

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

QUOTE: EXCERPT FROM TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE
By Mitch Albom

“Still,” Morrie said, “there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don’t respect the other person, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don’t know how to compromise, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can’t talk openly about what goes on between you, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don’t have a common set of values in life, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.

“And the biggest one of those values, Mitch?”

Yes?

“Your belief in the importance of your marriage.”

He sniffed, then closed his eyes for a moment.

“Personally,” he sighed, his eyes still closed, “I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you’re missing a lot if you don’t try it.”

He ended the subject by quoting a poem he believed in like a prayer: “Love each other or perish.”

continue reading